Crazy Lawsuit Game

Today is definitely a clean up the desk day.

It's covered in papers and books. My bamboo and flower things are growing nicely. I should take a picture of them but I never have my camera at work. As I am a chemist I cannot remember the name of the flowers to save my life, but my neighbor is a horticulturalist so I can just go ask him and he would probably know it on the spot.

I was planning on coming in to work this weekend to get ahead so that when I take Spring Break off, it won't look as bad. But I didn't. I thought about it once or twice and as they say, it's the thought that counts. But not really. I can think about anything. Anything at all, but actually doing it is another thing all together.

That's why I never got the "if you think it, it's a sin" deal. I think if you act on it, it's a sin. I'm definitely sure there is a big karmic gap in between thinking about killing someone (boss, co-worker, Circuit City employee, telemarketers, everyone) and ACTUALLY killing someone.

Um, lost my train of thought. Not that I ever really have a train. That denotes linearity. I have never been accused of having a linear thought process.

I lost my air popper of thought? That's random and swirly and hot, just like me.

Almost forgot, I sold my motorcycle on Friday! Woohoo! For 300 cash money. I'll regale you with the entire motorcycle debacle later, but long story short, I shouldn't have bought it in the first place, paid too much, nothing but problems, expensive lesson. But it is well learned. So that money is going straight into the Focus Suspension Fund.

Here are pics of the sold moto, may it burn in hell:

So Jack is gone. Sid caught me up on the other blog shennanigans that have been going on. Damn, but I'm glad we have Se7en and Trash on the job. That is how you spell that right? With the 7?

Maybe Jack will publish a book. Or a blog that can only be read by password or invitation. Beats me, but I'm glad he kept his posts saved. That's alot of time and effort to just hit "DELETE".

I've had a few bites on the motorcycle front. I think the salvage title is scaring people. Crap. If only I could go back 3 years and tell myself to buy the Honda Rebel, this whole thing would've been avoided.

Right, one other thing I forgot to mention about last weekend: I had my first DUI stop! Woohoo! (Obviously I'm giving away the ending, but it was exciting)

So I'm driving along with 4 drunk people in Focus. I am DD and while I did not abstain completely, I only had 2 or 3 drinks and those were with dinner and at least 4 hours before I got behind the wheel. Driving along and remember that I need to feed a friend's cats in Anderson, so I get onto a road that connects 123 and 85. Very rarely do I see cops on this road, but very rarely do I travel it at 2:30 am.

So I get on 153 and there is a nice straight downhill and then a big uphill, so I goose it a little and get going about 70 in a 55. Then I see something shiny and reflecty in the median. Huh, so I take my foot off the gas (which is a very good reflex for most situations) then I see Sheriff written on the back. Whoops. So I slow down to the speed limit and pass him. Oh, so cops can have radar guns behind them too? Oh. I wasn't aware.

So I don't see any lights, but about 10 seconds after I pass him, I see two headlights pop up out of nowhere. Then he hits the blue ones. Crap. It's ok, relax, radio off, deep breath.
For the next section it's pretty much Cop. Me.
Where you headed tonight? To Anderson to feed a friend's cats, and then home. (Clemson)
You were going pretty fast back there. Well I was trying to get up speed for that hill. I only have this little 4-cylinder and there's 5 people in here.
Well you got up to speed and went way past it. I clocked you at 72 in a 55. (Damn, I need a radar detector. Badly)
License, registration, proof of insurance. Here ya go.
Would you mind stepping out of the car for a minute. Sure thing.
The reason I got you out is because there is a strong smell of alcohol coming from the car. Do you have any thing in the car. No sir. And the reason it smells of alcohol is because they're all drunk.
How much have you had to drink tonight. 2 drinks, a screwdriver with dinner and a beer. (Mostly true)
Something something, so how many mixed drinks have you had tonight? (I watch Cops, I know you're trying to trick me) Just the one sir.
I'm about to perform a field sobriety test. (So then he gives me the "follow my finger with your eyes." I do it just fine, no eye shaking at all. But I did shake a little on the 6th pass in front of my eyes. I think he just wanted to see something.)
Well, I can see you're not drunk. You're standing here still and talking to me. But you were going too fast. Wait here, lemme go talk to them and I'll be right back.
(waiting patiently, see another cop car pull up with two more sheriffs or deputies or something. Exchange pleasantries with the two new guys. Waiting.)
You can get back in the car now. I told them to hit you in the back of the head if you start speeding again. Wait here, I'll be right back.
(Drunken ramblings from passengers. Are you scared? What'd he say? I pulled my shirt down some to help you out. One of Joan's friends and thank God for boobies)
I'm just gonna give you a warning, and slow it down. Have a good night. Thank you Officer!

Ah, first DUI stop and first time pulled over in Focus. Phew, cashed in some karma with that. So I'm gonna go be nice to someone and build up my karma stores again.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

Attention All Cooters, this post has not a damn thing to do with molecular physics. I hate molecular physics. It's interesting but so much math that it isn't fun.

April, exactly cheese toast is quick easy and delicious.

Regan, I completely agree with the toasted bagel with the ooey and the gooey of cheese. Personally I like blueberry bagels with melted cheese. I think it's the slight sweetness mixed with the cheese that makes it so delicious.

I am a scientist and therefore like to experiment. Sometimes these ideas turn out to be keepers and some turn out to be horrid ideas that never should've seen the light of day. Mostly the only ideas that I get to try are cooking ideas. My chemistry ideas I get to try with varying degrees of success, not enough money for my business ideas, and my cooking ideas get tried whether they sound good or not. But I'm getting better at discerning what would be good and what would not be good.

Usually the recipes involve something around the house that we have and need to get rid of. I really can't throw away food. I hate it. I paid for it and dammit, I'm gonna eat it. Although I do have some milk in there that is not going to get used. Crazy not stupid.

So first the shameful gross or embarassing (those with weak stomachs look away):
Bolognadillas-quesadillas with bologna in them. Had cheese, tortillas and some baloney so they got made. Not good.
Scallop tacos-bought some scallops and tried to make seafood tacos. Not good.
Peanut butter and jelly torilla wraps-Had the ingredients and am addicted to PB&J so I think it's good. Others have said otherwise.

Good ideas:
Stir fry-I'm partial to sugar snap peas, bok choy, napa cabbage, broccoli, mushrooms, and most meats, never tried any fish and probably won't
Mexican-Yes the ingredients are all the same just prepared differently and it's always a crowd pleaser. I stole this from my parents who would always make it when lots of people came over. Enchiladas, tacos, taco salads, nachos, and all the same ingredients.
Chicken Fingers-I make these with those Italian bread crumbs available in the grocery store. Good, easy, not real fast but damn tasty.

That was a tangent. Had no intention of writing about food. Not even really hungry.

I want to go to New Orleans. I've bitched before how no one wanted to go there for Spring Break. That's ok, NOLA will always be there for me.

Joan always wants to know if this is what our life is like. Wake up, go to work, come home, hopefully work out, eat, TV/book/computer, sex, sleep, repeat. Unfortunately, I think that's pretty much it. And depending on how much vacation you get, this will continue for 40-50 weeks out of the year. And then on those special occasions, you get to take a trip, or do some home renovations. Bleh, I don't like where this is going.

Update:Fuck. Just saw that jack took his blog down. That sucks. Alot. I loved his blog. His stories and political views were amazing and always portrayed in a non-judging light. I hope he can work something out.

Everyone likes toast. It's simple, good and with the numerous toppings available, able to please the masses.

Personally, my favorite is cheese toast. I had it for breakfast. It is what it sounds like. Bread and cheese. That and a toaster over or conventional oven and you got yourself a healthy tasty nutritious breakfast.

And you can use any cheese. Any at all. I have used colby, mozzarella, monterey jack, cheddah (for all the New Englandahs), and on and on.

My one complaint is that there isn't a setting on my toaster oven to make my cheese toast to my exacting specifications. If you use toast, the bread gets too done on the bottom, and if you use broil, then the bottom isn't done at all. So my solution is this: A toast setting that switches over to broil for the last 45-60 seconds of the cook time.

This gives the cheese a nice blast of heat and, depending on the cheese, either finish melting it, or form a nice crust. Not burnt but crispy. Delicious. Seth, why don't you just turn the dial yourself when there is only a minute left on the timer?

Because dammit, this is America. And if there is one thing that my MTV soaked brain has taught me is that we care about convenience above all else. Okay money, but 2nd is convenience. I don't want to have to get up and turn the knob with one minute left. I want to turn the knob, go sit down, watch some Tivoed Futurama, and then once that bell dings, go in and find 2 of the most perfect pieces of cheese toast ever!

But that won't happen unless they make a programmable toaster oven of sorts, and that thing would cost a whole lot of money, and that's not what toast is about. It's a cheap easily prepared comfort food and if I have to get off my lazy ass and wait in front of the toaster for 45 seconds to get my perfect cheese toast, then by god, that's what's gonna happen.

The Ebay drama goes thusly:

I purchased a set of rims and tires off of ebay, a guy in Jacob, TX I believe. They were the stock 16 inch rims off of a Focus that he just bought for his daughter and he took it straight from the dealer to Discount Tires to have the rims and tires upgraded. (Bonus cool dad points on that one) And was just selling the ones he took off on ebay. I bid $127.50, not really expecting to win. Usually a set of the stockers with slightly used tires goes for at least $175, but I think he initially put that they were pick up only and changed that with a couple days left after the auction, so maybe he scared people away with the "pick up only" line.

So I won, wasn't expecting it and didn't want them to be honest, but it's a good price so sure. Pay him $127.50 plus $150 in shipping with the understanding that he would refund any of the shipping cost. He refunded about $65. Great.

So check FedEx on Friday morning at 10 am and they say that the wheels were delivered at 9 am on Friday. But I know that FedEx has a tendency to just leave the package at your door. So I run home, fine drove home, and sho nuff there they were sitting.

Of course I immediately want to put them on, and 3 out of 4 go on wonderfully. But the lug nuts on the passenger front wheel will not budge. So I put a little leg and body weight into the lug wrench and shear off the lug bolt. Fuck. Super fuck. So it was then that I decided to go to the dealership. After lunch, on 3 lug nuts. That was interesting. Nothing is worse than having to nurse your car somewhere, but I did get a nice "grandma" vibe out of driving no faster than 45 mph at any one time. So I get there, tell them the story. Notice that the customer service guy in the service dept. is the guy I almost bought an Eclipse from before I bought my Focus, so we're chatting about cars and autocrossing, yada yada yada. So about 2 hours after waiting, he comes out and is going to the service manager and tells me that he worked it so the warranty is covering it. No shit. But he shows me that the other 3 lug bolts also sheared off. I tell him that I haven't taken that wheel off since it was at their service dept. getting the steering rack replaced. Apparently someone put the wrong sized lug nuts on. And it wasn't me. And it was 99.9% probably them. So 3.5 hours later, I'm back in possesion of my Focus.

But not before Elijah, the former Mitsubishi worker, sleazy but nice guy, points out that the rim is bent. Shit. That's why I bought those rims because mine are bent also. Shit, so I put the bent one on the back, lessens the vibrations that you get from driving with a bent rim, and head home. Get up autocross, and email the guy on Mon. morning telling him that I want 1/4th of the final cost refunded for the bent rim. Which would be $31, but he refunds me $50 just for the trouble. Sweet. So positive feedback is left all around and now I just have to make a few decisions.

The stock rims are fairly heavy, so I can either sell the straight rims individually, which can go for up to $100 each, or I can buy one off of ebay, currently one is at $30 and $23.50 shipping. Or I can trade someone elses straight rim for my rim, slightly illegal.

I need to do a little more research into tire prices and wheel/rim prices before I make up my mind. Also old Audi rims fit my car and sets of those rims go for pretty cheap on ebay. And they have some cheap "tuner" wheels, which some can be fairly light, on ebay as well. So I'm not 100% sure what I'm going to do, but I think the buy another set of wheels and individually sell these is the best course of action I have right now. But I might choose another adventure and turn to page 72 instead of page 14. If only I could cheat and read ahead to see which decision has the better ending.

Joan had two friends from Orlando up this weekend visiting. They went to some parade thing at the Citadel and then came up here on Fri and left this morning. They're cool, I like most of Joan's friends. Some of them Joan doesn't really like and I share her sentiments.

I had my autocross Sat. from 9-5, mostly standing around waiting or watching cars race. But I did get 5 runs through a 50+ second course. Very cool and fun. Especially on the new wheels I got Friday morning, but that's a whole other story. Maybe tomorrow.

Two other friends were out, and another chem grad student who I don't really know but he's a car junkie so we at least have two common interests.

The one guy in the Beetle, it was his first autocross, he isn't a fast driver to begin with, but he did improve 1.5 seconds on his last run for a final of 57.68 sec.

Protege Boy improved by 1 second on his last run to end up with a 55.55.

I had consistent times in the 55.4-6 range, but finally got my time down to 54.03 on my last run. I was happy, but with I could've been trying to improve on my solid 54s and not my 55s. But it was a good day.

The other guy who has a Golf 1.8T and racing tires posted a best of 52.37, because damn those racing tires are sticky.

I think the best time of the day was a 48 something set by a silver M3 with a full autocross suspension setup. And race tires I presume, but never really looked. And a Z28 Camaro on racing tires almost beat it, he had low 49s and I think a high 48. There's nothing quite like that V8 rumble. I guess that's what NASCAR has going for it. That and beer, lots and lots of beer.

Then we went into downtown Greenville, future home of Jenn, who is linked to your left, and ate at the Blueridge Brewery. A microbrewery with good food and not so good beer. Then we tried to find a bar to drink. We usually go to Tassey's Tavern because they have those slushie boozy drinks and a few are made with Everclear. By far the cheapest way to get drunk in South Carolina. But they had some loser playing the guitar. Not that I hate the guitar, I love it in fact, but it's WAAAAAAY too loud, and he isn't very good.

So then we tried Wild Wings, great wings and they have a club type thing on top. Some bad was playing but they let two of us in, out of 8, and wouldn't let anyone else in. I'm assuming fire code, but we left and were going to go find another place when we passed a sign for The Bait Shack, $2.50 Vodka drinks and $2.50 Jim Beam. Ah, we found it. And they had karaoke which two of they guys we were with love, so extra super bonus.

So had a few cheap drinks there and wound down the night at Tiki Bob's. Depending on the DJ, they play good music and it's always loaded with interesting people mostly because it's the only "dance club" in downtown Greenville to the best of my knowledge, so all ethnic and socioeconomic groups are thrown together in this one place and needless to say, excellent people watching.

But here is the secret to having a good time at TB's. You need at least 4-6 people to accomplish this, but less is okay, you just wouldn't have as much room. There is a corner where the bar ends and the DJ booth starts that is just a corner that houses a giant Tiki god. But you can form a ring of people and have your own dancing/standing space without having to deal with people constantly pressing up against you. Occasionally someone sneaks into your circle, but usually to just order a drink and then they're gone. It is that secret to being comfortable and having a good time at Tiki Bob's.

Okay, the ebay/wheel drama is over, and I'll share later, but I gots work to do.

Apparently not, the oceans are warming up, Artic ice is melting, and it has only been really cold for a total of about 3 weeks here. Very strange.

Also saw from the NY Times that China and India are growing and using more and more oil. And all that is going to do is burn through earth's oil faster and increase the build-up of greenhouse gases. Great.

So now summer is going to be super hot here and I'm gonna have to start paying Cali prices for gas. I'm definitely going to start taking the bus more.

Here's the CNN article:

Scientists: Global warming is real

So if anyone is working on alternate fuels, please hurry. I have a feeling that we don't have a whole lot of time.

So I just finished Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates by Tom Robbins.

I'm impressed. I really liked his writing style and voice. And to quote Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire, "I want some more."

I've thought a little bit about what to read next. I do recall someone mentioning a book where the protagonist fell asleep or something and woke up in a world where only the stupid people breed and the smart folk choose not to, and are out numbered. I think it was Sean from Doc in the Box that suggested it. I think it was in the BookClub comments somewhere.

But maybe I'll read that, or Sid suggested "Stone Butch Blues" cuz I wanted to read a gay/lesbian author. Beats me but the important thing is I'm reading.

I'm also autocrossing this weekend on Sat. and Sun. so if anyone is passing through, stop by and give the black Focus a cheer. And I'll be taking pics too. Maybe some small crappy video too.

The campus recreation center underwent massive renovations a couple of years ago. All new racquetball courts, new pool, climbing wall, lots of random rooms, the works. And up until this semester, had lots of exit doors nice for leaving or letting in friends and family who didn't have student IDs. They apparently didn't like this community generosity and decided to install alarms on all exiting doors, or most of the exits.

The strange thing is that they aren't connected to anything but the alarm. It isn't a fire alarm, no cops show up, and it automatically goes off after about 10 minutes of very annoying high-pitched ringing. So what is to stop people from leaving through these doors? Society, or more specifically, thinking of your fellow man.

You've left, you're outside where you can't hear the alarm, so why do I care that it's going off? Because you're supposed to not want to subject your peers to the sound. That's it. So it's a social alarm, I suppose.

I did figure out a way to let Joan in, but won't share in fear that it will vanish and you don't need to know since none of you live in Clemson except for pj and he has an ID that will let him in, I think, not sure if faculty/staff have to pay for rec center priveleges or not. But I will tell you over a slightly more secure connection if you want.

The CEO of Rigaku is giving a seminar today and he spoke to our class this morning. Cool guy and he's a friend of our professor so he gave a little talk on the advances in X-ray instrumentation. And that is what Rigaku does, they make x-ray diffraction instruments for determining the structure of molecules. Very cool stuff. It's cool getting to see how the atoms bond in the crystals that you made. Speaking of which, I have to go make some more.

Apparently ebay is giving away $25,000 per day in some treasure hunt game they have. I so far have only wasted about 40 minutes looking for stuff.

Check it out here:

Ebay treasure hunt

The clues range from straightforward to insane. The last ones' clue was:
King Arthur:reference to a past president

Answer: Robert Goulet Begin to Love.

Of course there are discussion boards for this thing and someone found that Robert Goulet was in a theatrical production of Camelot from 1992-94 and he played King Arthur.

That one was a little vague.

And if you're crazy and plan on trying to win $1,000, which would be pretty sweet, this guy has set up an auto-refreshing clues page so that you don't have to do it yourself. And don't bother trying to see the winning auctions, they take them down really fast.

For tips this guy has the best:

Crazy ebay game tips

And the auto refreshing web page is:

10 sec. auto refreshing clue page

So I'm gonna try and win some free cash, but I expect a small portion of your winnings if you win. Only like $5, a mere finder's fee. Not really, but you could buy me a drink at the next BlogCon.

Joan actually has black eyes, so I guess she can be my black-eyed pea. I like black eyed peas. They're good.

Last night I made some fried zucchini and tostones for dinner. For those not privy to latin culture, tostones are small rounds of fried plantains. But they have to be green plantains, otherwise they're sweet and need to be prepared differently, namely strips and sauteed in butter, delicious.


Basically, you peel the plantain, which isn't as easy as peeling a normal banana. Then cut it into sections and fry them. Take them out, use one of these:

to smash them into the round shape and fry again. Salt and enjoy. I like mine with ketchup. But I didn't have one of those nice smashers so I used saran wrap and a skillet. Worked okay but they definitely weren't pretty. Joan was not impressed. Whatever, they were good and plan to make them again.

I like bad movies. Not Bio-Dome bad, but kinda bad. A few are Hudson Hawk, Johnny Mnemonic and Point Break. They aren't good movies, but I could watch them alot. Although I haven't watched Point Break in a while or the other Keanu Reeves film. Encino Man is also on this list.

Don't judge me. I'm sure you have some movies that you're not proud that you like. It isn't like I said Spice World.

But I did try and watch that once. Couldn't do it, even with their accents and hot pants.

That's what happens when you have movie channels. You watch the movies on them. Good, bad, awful, you watch because you're paying a fraction of a cent for that movie and you wanna get your moneys worth.

I've always wanted to rid myself of electronic distractions, maybe I can convince Joan to try it for a few months. No internet, no cable, um, I guess that's it, and no home phone service. Wow, that would be something. One day.

I would read so many books.

Now go do the bidding of Hallmark and FTD and go buy flowers and cards! Crap, I need to get a card for Joan. At least Hallmark is on the way home.

Eh, not much really going on. Working on the chemical inventory for our lab cuz the safety Nazi is making everyone have one. Yes we need one, but I don't have the time or desire to do it right now.

I realized that with an air filter and some silicon tubing I can make a high flow air filter for my car for $100 instead of $200. But I still need $100.

Ebay charges $60 to sell a motorcycle. Mine is barely worth that, so I think I'm gonna bypass ebay on this one.

I did purchase some "new-to-me" tires and rims off of ebay. I currently have the stock steel wheels on the Focus now. They suck because they aren't strong. These new ones are and they are not $150 each like they would be from Ford.

Shipped my bass guitar to Connecticut this morning, so if you see a brown truck going up the east coast today, wave at my bass guitar.

I hate UPS' new slogan, "Think brown." It's just gross. Some people are into that, but not me. I don't wanna think brown.

Even though we're not going to Nawlin's for Spring Break, we are going to Orlando and then to Daytona to hang out with our friends from here for a few days, so at least it'll be cheaper. But I'm gonna miss eatin' Po'Boys and etoufee and jambalya.

I can't think or say jambalya without thinking about the Seinfeld "Soup Nazi" episode where Newman comes out, takes a big whiff of his order, says "Jambalaya!" and scampers off.

Some guy said that he wanted to buy my kayak with everything for $300 last week and I haven't heard back from him yet, so if anyone knows Ian Harkin, tell him to send me an email. I'll give him a good price.

I'll be doing my taxes this week after I make my contribution to my IRA. The retirement variety, not the militant kind.

My jacket smells. Not bad, but it still needs to be washed. I'll do that tonight.

Joan is fine, the girl who got rear-ended (hehe) is fine, Tercel has a black eye and some bruises, Sentra has a messed up ass and is undriveable.

State Farm called her yesterday and that claims adjuster was sympathetic and understood what happened and that it wasn't Joan's fault, but there wasn't really anything they could do. She said that the hittee was claiming back and neck injuries so they're gonna come take some pictures of Tercel to prove that it wasn't that hard of an impact. She also said that Joan's insurance would only go up $50 for 6 months because she's a "preferred customer." Right. So for those keeping score at home, that's a slightly messed up car, $77 ticket (not sure how many points, maybe 2), and a temporary $50 insurance rate increase. Not bad for her first accident. Came out with barely a scratch on her.

Have you seen those new esuvee commercials? The ones where the guy is riding that big hairy thing and he's out of control, and then Joe Blow 2 gets up and buckles up and keeps it nice and controlled. Pat yourself on your back because you and I financed that. I'll link to the website later, but it's an ad campaign brought to us by the offices of the Attorney General and the Consumer Protection Agencies of all 50 states, DC, Puerto Rico and the USVI (US Virgin Islands). All of which are either federally or state funded organizations. But it's an ad campaign for all the SUV drivers to learn how to properly load their SUV (not too much weight on top, etc...) and how to drive them (no high speed maneuvers or high speed turns), which I suppose is important for public safety, but if you don't know these things, you shouldn't buy one or they should give you a mini lesson in this stuff at the car dealership. It reminds me of the movie Dave with Kevin Kline, a small town Iowan I believe, looks just like the president and has to pretend he is for a period of time. But he and his accountant friend, Charles Grodin, work up a new budget for the USA over milk and sandwiches one night. But a program he cuts was a program to reassure car buyers that they made the right choice by buying a car. That's like making a pizza commercial for me extohling the virtues of eating pizza. I already like pizza, I'm going to eat pizza again, I don't need the idiot box to tell me that.

But here is the website so you can judge for yourself and see if our tax dollars are being well spent on a worthwhile cause:

Esuvee-How do you ride?

And in more NORML news, jack look away, in the great state of Alabama, Rep. Laura Hall (D-Madison) will be introducing legislation next week (Thursday, February 17, 2005) to protect bonafide medical marijuana patients from criminal arrest and state prosecution. Madison is the county that Hunstville is in for anyone who cares.

And also in Illinois:
NORML is pleased to announce that House Bill 407, the Illinois "Medical
Cannabis Act," is now being debated in the Illinois Legislature's Human
Services Committee. This is the second straight year that your state
elected officials have the opportunity to debate this vital issue. (Last
year's bill failed to make it out of the House Health Care Availability
and Access Committee.) Let's avoid a similar outcome this year. Now is the
time to contact your state elected officials and urge them to stop
arresting medicinal marijuana patients.

To contact your state senators, please go here and click on your state:

Don't you want to be NORML?

Try this out. An ingenious way for a band to make fun of themselves.

Dropkick The Faint!

Also a "Six degrees of separation" type thing for bands. Very interesting.

Band to band

From Bush to the Pixies in 12 band members.
And Gwar to Guns N Roses in 9.

Amazing.

And if you ever plan on sleeping in an airport, like anyone does, please consult this website beforehand, or if you have a wireless connection and laptop, during:

Sleeping in Airports

I think the sleeping in airports and band link are getting permalinked in the ol' sidebar.

If you remember, Joan is grounded for 1 month from driving Focus because she scraped another car pulling out of a parking space. That is up next Mon. on Valentine's Day actually, or VD as Catt has been calling it. I hope that everyone sees the irony in using VD as the abbreviation for a day of love. Capt. Obvious to the rescue!

But I was waiting on Joan to get home so we could go over to a friend's house last night. We're talking on the cell phone and she hangs up. About 45 seconds later she calls back and says that she was in an accident going about 60. Fuck. But she's okay, so I say I'll be there in a few minutes.

En route I'm picturing poor little Tercel (pronounced Turkel, like Steve Urkel from the popular TV show from the TGIF line-up, Family Matters) crumpled into a heap, leaking coolant, steam being expelled and little Toyota bits strewn everywhere in the road. I arrive on the scene before the police (shocker, it seems to me that accidents are the lowpoint in a policeman's daily routine) and for some reason it was the State Troopers who had to show up and do the accident reports. I suppose because it was on a road in between two towns. But another policeman shows up a couple minutes after I get there and sits with us with his lights on.

Before I left I grabbed my flashlight and should've grabbed my camera, but didn't think about it until too late. So I park at the gas station that is nearby and walk over to survey the damage. I don't see too much debris in the road, that's good. I walk to the front of Tercel and honestly it doesn't even look like she hit anything. The hood is dented a bit in the front. The plastic trim around the headlight broke off. The bumper is pushed to the side a little and the driver side front fender is bent a little. And there is a hole from where the other car's muffler went through Tercel's bumper. Wow, for as fast as Joan says she was going, I'm amazed that more didn't happen.

Then I get to the other car, a '97 Nissan Sentra GXE (police report, not off the top of my head) and it is fucked up. Really fucked up. The whole back bumper is shoved up underneath the car. The passenger rear fender well and chassis is shoved up against the rear tire. The muffler and exhaust pipes are bent and almost scraping the ground. The trunk is smooshed in at the bottom. I'm guessing at least 3 grand in damage, easy.

I won't go into too much detail, just because the more I think about it, the more it seems like Joan's fault (sorry sweetie), but she was getting over to let a car by so she was next to a black car in the lefthand lane as they came around the turn, a high speed turn, and they were going at least 60. The Nissan had just come from the gas station and was sitting in the median waiting to merge with traffic. So she moves from the median to the right hand lane and then is hit by Joan. Joan locked up her brakes, great brakes on Tercel and it's a light car anyway, so she slid into her. Hence the too fast for conditions ticket, $77. Now depending on when Nissan pulled into traffic will be the determining factor as to if it was her fault or Joan's fault. And were the black car was during the accident. Ideally, in the Not Joan's Fault World, the Nissan barely swung in front of the black car and then got whacked by Tercel, and Tercel and black car were exactly next to each other or almost next to one another. One the opposite end of the spectrum, the Nissan was in the lane, the black car was 3-4 car lengths ahead of Tercel and Joan straight up bitchslapped the Nissan.

I don't know what happened, but Mr. State Trooper said it was Joan's fault, and pretty much what he says goes, so Joan gets a ticket, a bump in insurance rates (but she turns 25 this year and only has liability on a '92 Tercel, but a horrible driving record including a suspended license) and her first accident.

At least it wasn't Focus, and hopefully, hopefully Joan's carma karma is now in balance. Carma indeed.

Joan and I went to the Olive Garden last night courtesy of a Christmas present from her sister. Thank you Joan's sister.

For some reason we always get bad service. Last time our entire meal was comped. Last night our appetizer was free. So thank you to whatever company/corporation owns Olive Garden. I'm not complaining, the service was crappy, but the food is always pretty good.

So we got to talking about religious beliefs and how some people grow up with church and then leave it, me and Varla, some grow up "heathen" and then find the church, Joan's brother, and some never go and never will, um no example that I'm 100% on. But how my views and beliefs have morphed over the years and now don't really reflect what I was taught in my Southern Baptist upbringing, thank God.

Joan is confused by protestantisms denominations. And I am too really, but I keep telling her that it is usually over just a few points but at the core all Christians believe the same. I'll rehash my religious beliefs at another time or go archiving for my last post. And I don't know the difference between atheists and agnostics.

But on the way home we were still discussing things like that. Joan doesn't think that we should really find anymore cures for diseases. Like AIDS and things like that. Joan doesn't really like people. And I'm inclined to agree. There are almost too many people for the earth to support and our birth rates and death rates need some tweaking, either by science or nature.

On the other hand, I am a scientist. So any scientific advances, including modern medicines, I'm in favor of. So Joan asked if I was in favor of cloning. Absolutely. If I need a heart when I'm older, cook up a clone, put it in a age advancer, yank out its heart, give it to me, and throw that clone in the dumpster, or recycle it into other clones.

"So you don't believe in clone rights?," she inquired. No, hell no. It's a photocopy of me. I am me. Not the clone. If I didn't exist, the clone wouldn't exist. No clone rights, ever. Clones should serve a purpose, and once that purpose is done; should be disposed of. I guess painlessly but who cares? Clones don't have souls. They have feelings and emotions and thoughts, but they're MY feelings, emotions and thoughts and no dirty clone is gonna take those from me. And who doesn't like being unique?

But any fans of Calvin and Hobbes already now the benefits of cloning. Clone #1 goes to work for you. Clone #2 does the housework. Clone #3 washes the car, etc.... Until they gang up on you and lock you in a closet, or get you in trouble at school or work, those little bastards.

Guess I'll have to settle on a robot to help around the house. At least the robot won't get some friends together and gang up on me.

An Evil Science Chick once commented on the title of my blog. What does it mean? You aren't a lawyer? What gives?

I'll tells ya. It is a quote from the television show "Friends". I watch this show because it's funny and doesn't reflect reality. Or maybe I hope it does reflect reality so that one day I might find my gigantic rent-controlled apartment in the Village. But it is from the few episodes where Ross, angered by his boss eating his sandwich, was on sabbatical, or medical leave of absence, from the museum where he worked. And Joey, the actor who apparently never works, was sitting at home with Ross. Ross decides to help Joey write a script so he gives him a time table and everything. But none of that matters. Chandler and Joey come up with a game called "Fireball" which involves a tennis ball, lots of lighter fluid, and I think that's about it. Ross says "You were supposed to be working on your script, not coming up with Crazy Lawsuit Game."

And I must've seen that episode near the beginning of this weblog, hence the title. And I really don't like lawyers anyway. A friend of mine is a lawyer actually, but he's okay. And my problem is with the entire justice system, and shady soulless lawyers.

Tennessee just introduced a medical marijuana bill into their state senate. Just the fact that these are getting introduced is a step in the right direction. But if you live in TN, go here and contact your state senators.

TN & NORML

Sorry, but that is one of my political platforms. The other is the environment and conserving our natural resources. Which is why I despise Hummers. For the military, I want no other vehicle. They're beasts and can drive over any terrain and will gladly pay my taxes to keep them in Hummers. But the Hummers I do have a problem with are the ones used locally by soccer moms and other conspicuous consumers.

Why the fuck do you need a Hummer? Is it the absurd tax break because it weighs 3 tons? Is it because you never know when the Apocalypse is going to hit and you need to get home over the piles of rubble? Why?

It's a status symbol. Sure. That's why people put huge chrome rims on their SUVs. It's another 10-20 large that you can drop on top of what you just paid for that Denali. I haven't done my research into what the biggest offenders are in the "Low MPG Club" but the Hummer is up there. Does anyone know of a business card type thing that I could carry around and put on these people's windsheild to try and convince them to get rid of their Hummer? Maybe I should contact those eco-terrorists. They would have some good ideas. But I think I would go the not-setting-them-on-fire route.

But Seth, what about Ferraris and Lamborghinis? They only get single digit number MPG ratings too. Very true and I'm glad you brought that up. I don't have the figures in front of me, but not many Ferraris are sold in the country. Even less Lambos. But Hummers sell like hotcakes. And how many Ferraris do you see driven on the street in one day? I have seen around 5 or 6 lifetime, while I see at least 2 Hummers per week. And most wealthy people only drive their 360 Modenas and Murcielagos on the weekends, in sunny weather for maybe a couple hours. While most Hummer owners, it's their commuter car or the husband's car, so they drive it a considerable amount of time.

I'm sure by now most of you have seen this thing:

It's made by International Harvester, maker of industrial trucks and construction equipment. It weighs in at 14,500 lbs. Makes 220 hp and 540 lb.ft. of torque. It can tow small buildings I believe. Gas mileage? We don't need no stinking gas mileage. We're diesel anyway. And of course, celebrities are already lining up around the block to own one of these behemoths.

And that's why I have a little extra respect for those few celebs who choose to drive the Toyota Prius. It is pretty much designed for stop and go LA traffic with it's regenerative braking and it's gas/electric hybrid engine. I decided a few months back to only drive 4 cylinder engines from now on. Sure it may have a turbocharger on it, but 4 cylinders 4 life.

I cleared $47 for the bass effects pedal, somehow got $31 for those video games, and $465 for the bass guitar. Yay capitalism! Too bad I'm just going to spend that money instead of buying real estate or art. Reading about Maestra's Matisse that Switters wants reminded me that I'm too poor buy art. But at least they make prints. And they're just as good. (Yes I'll repeat that over and over to convince myself)

Let me regale you with the telling of my 2 latest dreams. I don't usually remember my dreams which I hear is a good thing meaning that I'm in crazy deep sleep. Or I wake up and remember my dream for about 5 seconds then it's gone.

But my Sat. night dream was: Antartica. I remember fighting for the covers with someone and losing but realizing that it really wasn't that cold. In Antartica. So I get up and go outside and lay down in the snow. It's clear, not much wind and beautifully white. Then as I'm laying there, a polar bear and her cubs stroll by, so I take out my camera and get a picture, thinking that Joan really likes polar bears and would greatly enjoy a picture of a mama and her cubs. And then i woke up.

Interpreting dreams to me, or at least interpreting my dreams, always seem so inconsequential and such a futile endeavor that I just take them at face value and enjoy them. I miss my flying dreams from when I was a kid though. Those were fun.

My dream from last night: I was in Birmingham at my grandparents house. My parents and brother and his girlfriend (who was either black or latin in my dream and doesn't exist in real life) are there also. I think I go to sleep and then wake up to discover that my Camry (like I would ever purposefully drive a Camry) is up on blocks. So I go find my dad and say 'What happened to my wheels?!?!?!?' He says that Bro's girlfriend needed them for a job interview and her truck has huge wheels and a lift kit on it, so to look presentable she took the wheels off my Camry and put them on her truck. So I go crazy, why did you do that, angry rant, angry rant. Then I remember something about her needing $100 for lab safety goggles to which I replied she can afford $2000 worth of tires and lift kits for her truck and not $100 goggles? (which is an exorbitant amount for lab goggles, fyi) And then i woke up.

Both very strange dreams, but normal dreams are boring.

And another NORML update for Connecticut peeps. Go here and contact your state senator:

CT NORML alert

I think this blog is now in sleep mode. I haven't had a good post, in my humble opinion, or one that I felt really good about. Recently it has been "short weird ass thoughts from Seth". But I'm okay with that. It doesn't take alot of thought and it's better than not posting. A labmate is starting a blog too. Not sure if he's read this or not, but hopefully he'll be the only one. I've just heard too much drama comes from "real" people reading your blog. But I like PJ. He can read this and can maybe give me some constructive criticism. No one has been commenting recently, but no posts have been really comment worthy and I know you're still there, I see it on my referring pages at the bottom. I still haven't figured out how to see which google or yahoo searches send people here but I know it is sending people here. So if you're a new reader, thanks for stopping by, and to all my faithful loyal readers, thank you. It's nice knowing you're out there.

Does anyone collect those state quarters anymore? I figure someone out there is doing it. But I stopped seeing those "quarter collecting kits" advertised on TV. $19.95 for a map of the US with 50 quarter sized cut-outs. And I think it also listed in what year the quarters of what states would be issued. I bring this up because I saw a Texas quarter this morning. Don't mess with Texas. I like most Texans. King of the Hill has really turned Texas pride into a warm-hearted good natured thing as opposed to an obnoxious thing. But the seed was really planted by Pee Wee's Big Adventure. The scene where he is talking to his "girlfriend" on the phone and he starts singing "The stars at night are big and bright" and then holds the phone up and everyone around him finishes "deep in the heart of Texas." Sometimes I wonder if that would really happen.

And for any Iowa folks who support NORML, please check go here and contact your state senator:

NORML and click on your state

NORML is pleased to announce that Senate File 64, a bill to legally protect medical marijuana patients, has been introduced in the Iowa Senate. Now is the time to contact your state Senator and urge him or her to support this important legislation.

Also Texas introduced a bill in the state senate that would protect medical marijuana patients from prosecution. It is different from the decriminalization bill introduced. But click on the link above and choose your state.

And if you live in Alaska, Missouri, New Jersey, New Hampshire, or Ohio, there are also bills introduced into those state senates that are NORML-friendly.

Hehehehe.

100 Worst Porn Titles

Photovault

Hey look a kangaroo! Screw google images, I'm going here.

Napkin Folding

Supposed to be a candle.....riiiight.

Constructing the perfect turban

I'm still amazed that it's only one piece of cloth.

Venn diagram of things that are bad

Examples: People who refer to themselves by their nicknames.
Andrew "Dice" Clay
people who say nucular

Fierce Invalids is pretty good so far. I really like the style Tom Robbins uses in this book. I'm only about 2 chapters in but am hooked already. Stupid work getting in the way of my past times.

One passage I reeeally liked was "When you go for a while without being able to understand a word of what anybody around you is saying, you start to forget what banal bores our blathering brethren be."

And not just because of the nice alliteration, but I have experienced this. My summer doing research in Europe, I couldn't understand a freaking word anyone said. I could catch the occasional basic german word, mother, father, flower, 19, but for the most part it was just the white noise of german. Occasionally I get distracted by other people's conversations, especially loud or strange conversations, but if they're in german, you tend to get lost in your own thoughts.

I would love not to be able to understand people's inane chatter at Wal-Mart. And I can't not listen. I'm a curious inquisitive person and can't help it. I miss that. And I also came to hate Americans a little bit when I was in Paris. They were so loud and grating. Like they were in an amusement park. You can talk but don't scream. That and they assumed everyone spoke French. Imagine a Russian coming over here and just speaking Russian to people. It would be a bit frustrating. It's only common courtesy to learn a little of the native tongue of the country you are visiting. It really breaks some of the "tourist/local" tension. And be nice. And smile. Those two usually help.

Some

Sex crazed blogger

had these quizzes up on her site. Very interesting.



That would be awesome, but how would I measure it? I'm not pulling out every time, that's just crazy.

Oh I had this thought in the shower, so pro-lifers, I assume, believe that life starts when the egg is fertilized. So wouldn't the two components of that equation be important also and need to be cared for? So where do pro-lifers stand on masturbation? Men fire billions upon billions of useful sperm into the ether everyday. I would assume that pro-lifers are against that, but don't really know. But female masturbation would be okay. No wasting of eggs there.



Um, gross. Not even a little. Didn't even know this was a fetish really. So would they get to know you really well at the bait shop?

I feel dirty, I'm gonna go take a shower.