Thursday, February 10, 2005


Warning: Puns ahead

If you remember, Joan is grounded for 1 month from driving Focus because she scraped another car pulling out of a parking space. That is up next Mon. on Valentine's Day actually, or VD as Catt has been calling it. I hope that everyone sees the irony in using VD as the abbreviation for a day of love. Capt. Obvious to the rescue!

But I was waiting on Joan to get home so we could go over to a friend's house last night. We're talking on the cell phone and she hangs up. About 45 seconds later she calls back and says that she was in an accident going about 60. Fuck. But she's okay, so I say I'll be there in a few minutes.

En route I'm picturing poor little Tercel (pronounced Turkel, like Steve Urkel from the popular TV show from the TGIF line-up, Family Matters) crumpled into a heap, leaking coolant, steam being expelled and little Toyota bits strewn everywhere in the road. I arrive on the scene before the police (shocker, it seems to me that accidents are the lowpoint in a policeman's daily routine) and for some reason it was the State Troopers who had to show up and do the accident reports. I suppose because it was on a road in between two towns. But another policeman shows up a couple minutes after I get there and sits with us with his lights on.

Before I left I grabbed my flashlight and should've grabbed my camera, but didn't think about it until too late. So I park at the gas station that is nearby and walk over to survey the damage. I don't see too much debris in the road, that's good. I walk to the front of Tercel and honestly it doesn't even look like she hit anything. The hood is dented a bit in the front. The plastic trim around the headlight broke off. The bumper is pushed to the side a little and the driver side front fender is bent a little. And there is a hole from where the other car's muffler went through Tercel's bumper. Wow, for as fast as Joan says she was going, I'm amazed that more didn't happen.

Then I get to the other car, a '97 Nissan Sentra GXE (police report, not off the top of my head) and it is fucked up. Really fucked up. The whole back bumper is shoved up underneath the car. The passenger rear fender well and chassis is shoved up against the rear tire. The muffler and exhaust pipes are bent and almost scraping the ground. The trunk is smooshed in at the bottom. I'm guessing at least 3 grand in damage, easy.

I won't go into too much detail, just because the more I think about it, the more it seems like Joan's fault (sorry sweetie), but she was getting over to let a car by so she was next to a black car in the lefthand lane as they came around the turn, a high speed turn, and they were going at least 60. The Nissan had just come from the gas station and was sitting in the median waiting to merge with traffic. So she moves from the median to the right hand lane and then is hit by Joan. Joan locked up her brakes, great brakes on Tercel and it's a light car anyway, so she slid into her. Hence the too fast for conditions ticket, $77. Now depending on when Nissan pulled into traffic will be the determining factor as to if it was her fault or Joan's fault. And were the black car was during the accident. Ideally, in the Not Joan's Fault World, the Nissan barely swung in front of the black car and then got whacked by Tercel, and Tercel and black car were exactly next to each other or almost next to one another. One the opposite end of the spectrum, the Nissan was in the lane, the black car was 3-4 car lengths ahead of Tercel and Joan straight up bitchslapped the Nissan.

I don't know what happened, but Mr. State Trooper said it was Joan's fault, and pretty much what he says goes, so Joan gets a ticket, a bump in insurance rates (but she turns 25 this year and only has liability on a '92 Tercel, but a horrible driving record including a suspended license) and her first accident.

At least it wasn't Focus, and hopefully, hopefully Joan's carma karma is now in balance. Carma indeed.


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