Thursday, September 27, 2007


Defcon 7

I just got out of seminar. The speaker was pretty good and there was almost a fight between one of our faculty and the speaker. I'm half kidding. The reception that followed was top notch with mussels, chicken wings, a spicy buffalo cheese dip and a delicious assortment of fruits, beers and liquors. I made a beeline to the Maker's Mark which was shockingly unopened. I love Maker's Mark. I truly don't understand how anyone could drink Jack Daniels after having Maker's Mark. I do like TGIF's Jack Daniel sauces though. I've never toured their distillery but if I'm ever in KY (Jelly) again, I'll be sure to swing by.

First to address Princess of Power's query about blue stilton. Stilton cheese has its own damned website. That is some serious cheese. Here is the history of Stilton. Enjoy. It should be available at all fine grocers around the country. I think I had the blueberry variety, which is stilton with blueberries and is quite good.

I didn't drink too much but still woke up Sat. morning a bit dehydrated. I hit the water pretty hard. Ran into McDonalds real quick for a sausage McMuffin and ate my "nutritious" breakfast on the way to Reem's Creek Golf Club which is north of Asheville in Weaverville, NC. I'm not a golfer. I literally play a round of golf once a year. This was my one time this year. Luckily it was "captain's choice" or "best ball" or basically whoever hit the ball the best, the other 3 jokers could pick up our balls and go hit next to the other guy's. The first hole had an easy slope downwards and we made par. The next introduced us to the drastic elevation changes in store for us that day. The tee box was at least 30-40 meters (yards) above the fairway. You couldn't see the beginning of the fairway unless you walked to the front edge of the tee box. We went 5 over par for the front 9: 3 bogeys, 1 double bogey. We stopped at the clubhouse for our boxed lunch which involved a freshly made sandwich, a candy bar (I traded for a Zero bar because I like almond nougat and white chocolate), a piece of fruit (banana) and a bag of chips (Cheetos). I scarfed my sandwich and took the rest with me because I thought we were pressed for time. We were not so I had inhaled my sandwich for nothing. Crap. Then Subaru (who is in our foursome) asks for a smoke. I had picked up some of the new flavored Camels and went with the Infused.
then I started to not feel so good. I successfully made it through holes 10-12 and then at the tee box for 13 I started to feel bad. Really bad. I'm about to have lunch in reverse bad. That particular tee box is surrounded by at least 3 other holes so I have nowhere to hide and ralph in peace. It's hot, the sun is blazing and I just want some shade so I can get this over with. I'm trying to chew it back but it doesn't matter. My mouth starts to salivate and I know the end is near. I kneel next to some weird bush thing which has a tiny bit of shade and blow chunks. Care to take a guess what I saw? That's right. Little bits of turkey, sliced american cheese and bread bits. Fuck. I hate throwing up. Thankfully the other 3 guys let me just hang out in the golf cart for the rest of the holes. I get out to putt occasionally. Surprisingly I knock in the birdie putt on hole 13, so maybe it was a good thing? We end up 2 over par for the back 9, 3 bogeys and my birdie, and I'm sure we come in dead last with a +7 on the day. I think Protege's 4some won it with 6 under par, which is nice since it's his wedding day.

By the time we get back to the clubhouse, I'm feeling much better after riding around in the shade and drinking some water and Gatorade. I drive back to our friend's house, shower and eat the delicious carnitas torta that J bought for me when they went to lunch. I guess I somehow knew that I would be hungry when I got home. Catch the end of the Clemson/NC State game (we kicked some Wolfpack ass) and rest for about 30 minutes then put on my monkey suit and get ready to go to the wedding.

I'll let that sink in and finish the story tomorrow. Some highlights and lowlights:
Gorgeous weather for the ceremony
the minister's back to the audience for most of the ceremony
the deuchebag who didn't button his top button of his shirt and never tightened his tie, he also watched the LSU/U of South Carolina game on his cell DURING THE CEREMONY
the lovely reception
bustin' some mad dance moves on the dance floor

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