Friday, February 09, 2007


He used him for alligator bait

Anyone else listen to Primus? If you like wacky lyrics and some funknasty bass lines, I highly recommend them. Wynona's Big Brown Beaver was a popular single in '95 or so. Les Claypool is one of the minds behind the music, as it were. And if anyone lives in Lawrence, KS, he'll be playing at the Wakarusa Festival this June, whatever the hell Wakarusa is.

So I signed up to play on an intramural soccer team. Our first game was snowed out so our first actual game was last night. It's 20 minute halves and the field is pretty small. What that means, especially if you're playing the AFROTC, is that once you get the ball you have time for one touch, maybe two before you're swarmed, but some of our guys were still convinced they could dribble past their whole team. Not gonna happen. Maybe Pele but not you. We got waxed, 4-nil. Yep a big goose egg for our first game. But the high point, for me, was that they did not score while I was on the field. Go me! There was some smack talking, a little pushing, and once again I came to the ugly truth that I'm a horrible trash talker. I'm not that creative and definitely can't think fast enough for it to be remotely effective. But I still try it nonetheless. I already felt stupid telling J this story and don't really want to share it again, but I will, just because I know you'll appreciate it. I have to warn you though. It's pretty bad.

I kept hearing their team, when we had the ball, say that their team should run through us to get to the ball. Classy. So I decided to make my presence known on the defense and the 3 goals in the first half was a fluke and they would not get another if I had anything to say about it. So the ball is passed near a guy I was covering at the time. I ran half around him and half through him, looking at the ball the whole time. He screams "Jesus Fucking Christ!", which I ignore and go cover the guy who actually got the ball. They missed a shot so it was our goal kick. The guy I ran through just happens to be near me so I stare him down. He starts saying "Are you serious? Are you serious?" so I respond, out of breath mind you, with "It's Tapdancing Christ." He walks off and says something like you're picking on a guy half your size (he was about 5'3" or 5'4" and probably 130) so I say "Half my size? We got a math major here!"

Ugh, that makes me shudder it's so stupid. I'm really not good at the smack talk. I should just keep my mouth shut and play my game. But we shook hands after the game and it's all good. Just part of the game and no hard feelings. Most of them seemed like nice guys. I didn't appreciate their keeper come flying in against one of our guys with both cleats up especially since our guy is maybe 5'6" and their wall of a keeper was at least 6'3". But he's the keeper so he can do almost what he wants. That's just soccer.

All in all, it was great to play some semi-organized soccer and get to run around, get knocked down, and play some good hard-nosed defense.

We had serious trouble keeping the ball on their side of the field and we had some various other problems. Hopefully we can somehow get that sorted out or some of the other teams aren't as tough, otherwise this is gonna be a rough season.

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