Thursday, May 11, 2006


Midget Nazi Hookers

Or the more PC, Little People Nazi Call Girls. How short does someone have to be before they are a tiny person? Are there tiny people?

So J did read my blog yesterday and called for a few minutes. She has awful service in Charleston and zero service on the farm. But she's doing okay. They had to chase down a 2 day old baby calf who had somehow escaped. If you let them run around, the veal doesn't taste as good. Everyone knows that. Joking, I have no clue as to their true intentions with this particular cow. But I don't think they're going to eat it. At least, not right now.

Everyone loves zippers, no? They're on jackets, purses, pants, tents, sleeping bags, various other bags including luggage, etc... They're fast and easy. Sometimes they're hard to start but once they're going, they're great and your coat won't fall off. The only downside I see is that if you break a zipper, that's it. It's unrepairable.

But what are other options? Buttons. Good ol' reliable buttons. If they come off, you just sew it back on. But they don't offer the full closure that zippers do. And as I have discovered recently, they are a real bitch on pants.

I bought some dark jeans from Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic (all owned by the same conglomerate, so it doesn't matter where I bought them) and they have a button fly. My only question is why? Is it fashionable? Did the little kids in China run out of zippers? I thought we were advancing as a society and that buttons are kind of a step backwards. My biggest complaint is that it really increases the time spent in the bathroom. Nothing huge but it bumps it up at least 15-20 seconds and there are some restrooms where that seems like an eternity.

Advantages to buttons: Amish think you're hip, it's a satisfying sensation to just rip them apart, no worry about zipping your kibbles and bits and having a "Something About Mary" situation.

That's about it as far as I can tell. Zippers are faster and easier but slightly more dangerous.

It's just something I'm gonna have to watch out for next time I go pants shopping. These are my first pair of buttonflys so it's been a learning experience.

To do list for tonight: Dishes, kitchen counters and floors, fold clothes, put away clothes, start packing for this weekend


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