Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Hello again

I want to have a serious discussion today. Please sit down, take a load off.

The first occurrence I can recall was maybe at the tender age of 6 or 7. I thought no one was looking so I quickly slid it under there. Phew, problem solved. But after a few times of being completely disgusted by either looking under there or my hand accidently grazing some that was under there, I made a healthy conscious decision to never ever do that again. I of course am referring to gum under the table/chair/bench etc...

So you're chewing gum, which is a questionable habit in the first place reminiscent of a cow with its cud, because you want fresh breath or you're quitting smoking or you just like it. So you're chewing Juicy Fruit and after that initial 3 minute period, all the flavor is gone, and you're done. You want out. NOW. No trash cans around or at least none that are close. You didn't save the wrapper and don't have any spare scraps lying around. What to do? Eureka! I've got it! I'll just put it under this park bench and no one will be the wiser. Excellent.

Crisis averted. But at what cost? What if an innocent (or guilty) child strolls along and puts that gum in their mouth? Gross but not deadly. Unfortunately we're not talking about life or death here. Just gross feelings and inconveniences, but as Americans isn't that what concerns us most? Happiness and convenience?

I still don't know why I placed my hand under that table. I think I was trying to play handsies with J while we were eating sushi and luckily the tablecloth was long but I ran into a still juicy piece of gum. If that tablecloth hadn't been there, I probably would've freaked. I hadn't thought about this problem in years and was caught off-guard.

But who does this? Who are these people leaving their gross habits in public albeit not in plain sight? Who sticks their gum on the wall while waiting in line for an amusement park ride? Is it you? Is it your brother/mother/sister? Is there an anti-leaving-your-gum-under-things association I can join?

You should all be ashamed of yourselves.


<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?


View Products
Freedom is NORML

Search WWW Search
Who Links Here