Friday, January 20, 2006
I wish God were alive to see this
- Homer J. Simpson
Still don't feel like doing the Sea World post, but it is a great amusement park. And since it's in Orlando, a few of the traditional amusement park rednecks are replaced by international tourists; a welcome change any day of the week. Great rides(even a good steel roller coaster), great shows, turkey legs, great animal exhibits. And free beer! Since it's an Anheuser-Busch theme park, they have the Hospitality Center, where for park guests 21 and over can sample some wonderful Anheuser-Busch products. And since I tried their gross stout when I was at Busch Gardens, I felt no need to go back.
But it's a great park and I highly recommend going to either the San Diego, San Antonio, or Orlando Sea World Adventure Park.
Now for a few complaints:
The terms "briefs, boxers, and boxer briefs" all imply men's underwear. Men, as is common knowledge, have penises for waste expungement duties. This "penis" extends from the body about 8-10 inches below the belly button. The penis is usually covered by underwear and jeans. Jeans traditionally have a zipper or button "fly" to seal the jeans and keep them snug against your person. The zipper is usually positioned directy in front of the penis. So peeing occurs when the zipper is lowered, the penis extracted, pointed at the desired pee target, etc..
But what about the underwear? Good point. The underwear exists as a buffer between the tough rugged jeans and the soft silky penis. Modern advances in underwear technology has produced a means to facilitate peeing. The peehole. Remember the peeing equation? This adds another variable to that problem, however the peehole is used to combat the complexity added. Genius. Groundbreaking.
So why did I purchase underwear, clearly labeled as boxer briefs, with no peehole? Is this modern technology? Is this fashion? Why? Why must I lower my drawers like a 1st grader who has yet to master the peehole?
Oh, just remembered the other one.
J told me yesterday that her school (she's student teaching at a semi-local high school) doesn't have water fountains. WTF! They don't have water fountains? Then what the hell do the students drink? Of course there is a soda machine that sells water, but who wants to buy $1/20 oz. of water everyday? I realize that South Carolina is poor and that the US is a capitalist empire, but no water fountains? I went to the water fountains at school roughly 3 times a day. And what are the student athletes supposed to do? Coach, I didn't bring any water. Well keep doing wind sprints and I'll get the ambulance on the way so when you drop from heat exhaustion and dehydration they can run you to the hospital.
Water fountains. So simple. How about we take our cut of that vending machine blood money and install some water fountains? Nope, that money is earmarked for me to embezzle.
That really blew me away. AND we're going to their wrestling match tonight. I'm getting thirsty just thinking about it. I'm gonna go get some water while I have the chance.
Still don't feel like doing the Sea World post, but it is a great amusement park. And since it's in Orlando, a few of the traditional amusement park rednecks are replaced by international tourists; a welcome change any day of the week. Great rides(even a good steel roller coaster), great shows, turkey legs, great animal exhibits. And free beer! Since it's an Anheuser-Busch theme park, they have the Hospitality Center, where for park guests 21 and over can sample some wonderful Anheuser-Busch products. And since I tried their gross stout when I was at Busch Gardens, I felt no need to go back.
But it's a great park and I highly recommend going to either the San Diego, San Antonio, or Orlando Sea World Adventure Park.
Now for a few complaints:
The terms "briefs, boxers, and boxer briefs" all imply men's underwear. Men, as is common knowledge, have penises for waste expungement duties. This "penis" extends from the body about 8-10 inches below the belly button. The penis is usually covered by underwear and jeans. Jeans traditionally have a zipper or button "fly" to seal the jeans and keep them snug against your person. The zipper is usually positioned directy in front of the penis. So peeing occurs when the zipper is lowered, the penis extracted, pointed at the desired pee target, etc..
But what about the underwear? Good point. The underwear exists as a buffer between the tough rugged jeans and the soft silky penis. Modern advances in underwear technology has produced a means to facilitate peeing. The peehole. Remember the peeing equation? This adds another variable to that problem, however the peehole is used to combat the complexity added. Genius. Groundbreaking.
So why did I purchase underwear, clearly labeled as boxer briefs, with no peehole? Is this modern technology? Is this fashion? Why? Why must I lower my drawers like a 1st grader who has yet to master the peehole?
Oh, just remembered the other one.
J told me yesterday that her school (she's student teaching at a semi-local high school) doesn't have water fountains. WTF! They don't have water fountains? Then what the hell do the students drink? Of course there is a soda machine that sells water, but who wants to buy $1/20 oz. of water everyday? I realize that South Carolina is poor and that the US is a capitalist empire, but no water fountains? I went to the water fountains at school roughly 3 times a day. And what are the student athletes supposed to do? Coach, I didn't bring any water. Well keep doing wind sprints and I'll get the ambulance on the way so when you drop from heat exhaustion and dehydration they can run you to the hospital.
Water fountains. So simple. How about we take our cut of that vending machine blood money and install some water fountains? Nope, that money is earmarked for me to embezzle.
That really blew me away. AND we're going to their wrestling match tonight. I'm getting thirsty just thinking about it. I'm gonna go get some water while I have the chance.
# posted by Seth @ 7:18 AM 
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