Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Woohoo! A deadline!
So according to Cheney the Iraqi War will be over before 2009! Thank goodness.
Cheneydamus speaks!
Joan and I were having a discussion about how to improve our current state of affairs. I came to the conclusion that tyranny is the only way. Bills get bogged down in Congress and nothing ever happens, so we need to do away with all the bickering and just have one guy making all the decisions. He would have advisors and might be elected, but he or she needs to have the ultimate authority. And I think Trashman would do a great job of it.
But here are a few "minor" changes that we would suggest to his imminency:
1) If you collect a welfare check, you are injected with birth control when you come up to pick up your check.
2) Make the death penalty process faster and less appealy so we can stop wasting our money. And child molesters are now put to death.
3) All drugs are legal and regulated by the government. Let's face it. Crackheads are gonna smoke crack, so we might as well make a little money off of their short useless existence.
4) Teachers will be given annual tests. And they will be difficult. All teachers, preK - graduate school. They will also get paid more. Not the university profs, they're doing okay, but the middle school and high school teachers.
5) 2/3 of people with an IQ lower than 100 will be terminated. Kind of like a moron genocide, or moronocide if you will. Not all because we still need people to work at Taco Bell, not that all people at Taco Hell are stupid but it sure helps.
6) Right, Joan would keep Congress just for advice but would severely slash their pay.
Um that's it for now. See why we need a dictator? Because I don't think you could get some of those passed. Maybe the (1)birth control/welfare thing. I say put that on the next national ballot and let the people decide. The (5)genocide probably wouldn't get passed.
Cheneydamus speaks!
Joan and I were having a discussion about how to improve our current state of affairs. I came to the conclusion that tyranny is the only way. Bills get bogged down in Congress and nothing ever happens, so we need to do away with all the bickering and just have one guy making all the decisions. He would have advisors and might be elected, but he or she needs to have the ultimate authority. And I think Trashman would do a great job of it.
But here are a few "minor" changes that we would suggest to his imminency:
1) If you collect a welfare check, you are injected with birth control when you come up to pick up your check.
2) Make the death penalty process faster and less appealy so we can stop wasting our money. And child molesters are now put to death.
3) All drugs are legal and regulated by the government. Let's face it. Crackheads are gonna smoke crack, so we might as well make a little money off of their short useless existence.
4) Teachers will be given annual tests. And they will be difficult. All teachers, preK - graduate school. They will also get paid more. Not the university profs, they're doing okay, but the middle school and high school teachers.
5) 2/3 of people with an IQ lower than 100 will be terminated. Kind of like a moron genocide, or moronocide if you will. Not all because we still need people to work at Taco Bell, not that all people at Taco Hell are stupid but it sure helps.
6) Right, Joan would keep Congress just for advice but would severely slash their pay.
Um that's it for now. See why we need a dictator? Because I don't think you could get some of those passed. Maybe the (1)birth control/welfare thing. I say put that on the next national ballot and let the people decide. The (5)genocide probably wouldn't get passed.
# posted by Seth @ 6:15 AM 
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