Monday, April 04, 2005


What do you know about pressure?

-Lois Einhorn/Ray Finkle, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

So the Catholic Church, or The Church, is going to be electing a new pope. Damn and here Double U thought he had a high stress job being president. I cannot even begin to fathom the butterflies that one would get waiting to see if he or she(yeah right) were to be the new pope.

So Joan and I did a little research and found out how they elect a new pope. A bunch of cardinals gather round and write down who they want to be the new pope. 2/3 plus one are the minimum number of votes needed to become pope. And if no one receives that, then they take another vote. And the number of cardinals voting cannot exceed 120, so I guess it's a first come, first vote kinda thing.

Wow, so basically they keep voting and praying until someone has the votes, but apparently John Paul II changed it so that after 12 or 13 days, the majority will elect the new pope and the 2/3 isn't needed. And then they go ask the new pope if he accepts and what his name will be.

So if you're pope, you get to pick your own name?
Pope Seth the 14th, Pope Peter, Paul & Mary, Pope Lucifer for the whole irony/oxymoron deal and maybe get some Satanist converts, Pope Jerry Falwell (hahahaha, just felt every Southern Baptist cringe at that one, or was it every Catholic?) Pope Britney the 4th (to get the 14 yr olds into church)

I could do that all day. But I'm too evil and Protestant to become pope. But I'm actually converting to Catholicism soon, so keep your fingers crossed.


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