Friday, April 01, 2005


These aren't the droids you're looking for

So it's April Fools Day. I haven't had a good prank done to me or by me in quite a few years, but it's always nice to see the websites that do it up real nice.

So expect the unexpected today and be skeptical of everyone, YOUR April Fool might be out there right now, waiting, lurking in the shadows.

Here is a list of websites that have gotten into the holiday spirit April Fools!

Almost gave Jack a coronary with my tribute to Johnny Cochran, so I'm counting that as my April Fool.

Today's topic is the farmer tan:

Fine examples of the Farmer tan and my personal favorite is the wife beater tan:

Every summer I strive to not get a farmer's tan. It's relatively simple really. Either apply sunblock to exposed skin, limit going outside, or when outside, remove shirt. Simple, but there are those who choose to ignore these simple instructions and receive the farmer's tan.

A long time ago in a distant land (Cincinasti, OH) there was a youth choir on tour during the summer which was a common occurrence during those days of yore. This choir had a planned outing to an amusement park, Paramount King's Island. An outdoor amusement park with rides and a conjoining water park. A noble hero decided to make a political statement and join in on the hordes of white trash that frequent amusement parks. He decided to don a wife beater that would be worn all day without respite.

Rides were ridden, corn dogs consumed, people mocked, heads were ached, and thus the day was through. Our fearless scout had successfully infiltrated the masses and blended in and the only thing that could've helped his transformation would have been a mullet, but alas, that kind of time was not to be had.

Triumphantly returning to our trusty chariot, Huzzahs! and Kudos! were given all around. But our fearless knight had a dark secret, one that no one had forseen. Under his wife beater he wore no additional protection from the onslaught of harmful solar magic and whence he had removed his garment, it appeared that the garment was still there. What is this? he asked. I have just removed my shirt but it seems to still be on me? And my shoulders and arms have turned a "boiled lobster" red! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! cried our hero! And he crumbled into his throne of shame.

He wore this mark of shame for nearly a fortnight, until his arms had finally peeled enough to restore his milky white luster to his entire body. So let this be a lesson, oh little ones, be prepared to reap what you sow. Or something.

Hope you enjoyed our April Fools medieval/weirdo theater.


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