Thursday, March 31, 2005


You wanted to do what today?

So for everyone in the southeast, it's raining and will continue to do so mostly all day. This is pertinent information because I was supposed to go golfing today. Golfing on a work day!?!?!?!?! Calm down, it's ok. It's a College of Engineering and Science golf tournament for alumni, faculty, and students, so it's mildly acceptable to skip work. And it's a sweet deal for students as well. $25 for golfing, cart, free drinks/beer and snacks all day provided by the beer wenches, and then door prizes at the post-golf barbecue. And you don't have to work. And our golf course is really nice. Don't know off-hand how many universities have their own golf courses, but ours is pretty nice. And it has the signature "Tiger Paw Hole". I'm sure some of you remember how Clemson's tiger paws (trademarked of course) is on everything including the seats of the Clemson Area Transit buses. The hole looks like

this and is a nice little par 3.

I suck at golf by the way and never ever want to be good at it. That would make me focus more on performing well and less on spending time with friends, enjoying the outdoors, and enjoying a few tasty beverages.

Now for a few news stories that caught my eye:

Hillary Swank fined for bringing an orange and apple into New Zealand from LA. She was fined a total of $163 and appealed it, and rightfully lost her appeal. Australia and New Zealand are a little worried about introducing new species into their wild ecosystems. And last time I checked Hillary, you could spare the money. So pay the money and stop wasting those Kiwis' time.

And sadly Johnny Cochran has passed.

He was 67 and died from an inoperable brain tumor. Johnny, your candidness and ability to change any situation into a race conflict will be missed. And your ability to get anyone off for anything. OJ surely thanks you from the bottom of his heart. You also inspired a great Seinfeld character, Jackie Chiles

"You used the balm. Who told you to use the balm? I didn't tell you to use the balm," from the hot coffee episode and the great smoking episode also. You'll be missed as an entertainer by me and an attorney by others Johnny.

Holy crap, Joan made me watch Showdog Moms and Dads on Bravo last night. Damn, that was awful and hilarious. And we also caught the tail end of the Westminster Kennel Show. That was awesome. I'm sure most of you know that I am easily amused and still find humor in funny words and double entendres. Last night was no exception. Apparently, when little kids say that they can say bitch when talking about a female dog, they're right. Bitches were flying left and right. My favorite was by the head judge of the Kennel Club, very proper maybe uptight lady, "She did very well. That bitch did everything right." Oh man, awesome. But the TV show was pretty much like the mockumentary "Best in Show" and the movie was a little funnier because you can imagine that those people might not exist. With the reality show, they're right there and crazy as ever.


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