Saturday, January 29, 2005

 

I love Southern snow

Um, Boston. I have some bad news. All the crap that is down here right now, is coming up to you. But instead of the icy/rainy/snowy crap that we get, you get full fledged snow. And it's slow. So it'll help you cement that January snow record and get a good head start on that February record.

I believe it was Catt who didn't appreciate the jackasses that mess up the pristine snow covered parking lots by sliding around. To that I say, get up earlier. I was too excited this morning and couldn't sleep, so on my way to work at 8:30 am, I decided to get in my morning jackassery. Went to the little clear parking lot over by the botanical gardens and played slideways for a few minutes. See, the reason that front wheel drive people do this is we never get to experience the awesomeness that is oversteer and sliding the ass of your car around next to your car instead of behind it. Yes it's dangerous but that's why you do it at slow speeds and in empty parking lots and not going to 7-11 (which don't exist down here, I think the closest one is Ohio).

The technique is simple. Go into a turn, low revs in 2nd gear, start turning into the turn, pull e-brake, enjoy ass out craziness, repeat. I did link a couple of slides but that lot is too small to really do anything really fancy. Rear wheel drive, and all-wheel drive cars to some extent, get to enjoy oversteer any time they want. But they have different techniques to drifting and only newbies use the e-brake to drift in a RWD car. My personal favorite is a rally inspired technique called the Scandinavian flick, which I assume was first used by Scandinavian drivers to set up their cars so they can slide around the snow/ice and not plow into the side of the road. It involves quickly turning the wheel AWAY from the turn and then turning into the turn. But I've never tried it, so basically I have no idea what I'm talking about. But that's my theory.

So this "wintery mix" is supposed to linger all day. I still can't even think linger without that Cranberries song popping into my head.
You got me wrapped around your finger,
Do you have to
Do you have to
Do you have to let it linger.
Such soothing music. Cranberries = Not good driving music. Cranberries = soothing, relaxing, sleepy-time music. Or bath music. Not that I do that. But only because my tub isn't big enough. But I do love me a good bubble bath. Only Mr. Bubbles though. None of that Winnie the Pooh stuff. Hey, does anyone still do the shampoo hairstyles? Like mohawks or flock of seagulls? I suppose the most well-known example would be in the shower scene in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. "They could be fascist anarchists; it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car." Ah, such an excellent movie. That and Adventures in Babysitting are two of Joan's favorite movies.

But this crap is suposed to last all day so I can do a little more slippin and slidin. YAY! And I'm going to post pictures with the full realization that the Northeast has gotten 56 feet of snow in the past 2 weeks, but dammit, this is all we get, all year and I'm fucking excited! So please don't laugh at my 1/2 inch of snow pictures. Or at least mock in a funny, creative way so that everyone can enjoy.

And guess what someone said to me yesterday. Go on, guess. They said, "Cold enough for ya." WTF? Why? Why do people say this? It makes no sense, daffy bastards.

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